9/11

The past week or two I've been reading a lot about the events of September 11, 2001.  I'm normally not an excessively patriotic person, but it's hard to not get emotional when you think about that day.  Watching videos, thinking about it all... it's just overwhelming.

And yet, life goes on.  I'm far enough removed that I normally don't stop and think about it on a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis.  I'm not one of the mothers who lost a baby (full-grown, but always their baby), wives who lost a spouse, sisters who lost a brother.  As far as I know, I don't even know anyone who did.  But the anguish, panic, loss, felt by those who did is almost universal (almost).  Imagining going through that brings me to the brink of tears, over and over again.

I was 8 months pregnant with Simon on that day.  Emma was 10 months old.  I was at home, on the phone with the exterminator, discussing spiders in the bushes surrounding our house.  Ironic, kind of.  He is the one who told me about the first plane.  He didn't really know anything but that a plane had hit.  I remember thinking it was probably a private plane, out of control - an accident.  I thought "that's too bad" and went on with my day.  A few hours later, Oliver called me and asked if I was watching T.V.  I said no, and he told me what was going on and that I should turn it on.  For the next few hours, I watched footage while Emma played nearby.

The city of Lincoln did not shut down completely, but a lot of businesses closed for the day that afternoon.  I can't remember why Oliver wasn't home that evening, but Emma and I went to Hobby Lobby to buy frames for ultrasound photos I wanted to display on the wall.  I was apprehensive about going anywhere.  No one knew if that was the end of the day's attacks or if there was more to come, across the country.  Hobby Lobby was basically empty.

I'm 34 now instead of 24.  I'm sure that plays a role in my emotional response to this anniversary.  My kids are getting older.  The big, scary world looms ahead as I suppress the overwhelming urge to cover them in bubble wrap the moment they get out of bed in the morning.

Simon was born on October 18th, a happy and healthy baby.  He has shown a lot of interest in 9/11.  As he talks about what he wants to be when he grows up, I can picture him in a suit on Wall Street.  I know what his face looks like when he's panicking.  I know what his heart feels like when it's running on adrenaline, and he's sobbing against my chest.  Putting him, mentally, as an adult, into a scene like what I've been seeing lately, is something I can't not do.  Is it nature's way of preparing you?  Or torturing you?

I just put elbow- and kneepads on Max as he was practicing riding his bike without training wheels.  I watched Oliver hold on to his shoulders as he ran behind Max, steadying him as he tilted to one side and then the other.  I hope he'll let us do the same every day for the rest of his life, whether he's riding a bike or not.

It would be lovely if we could avoid tragedies.  If everyone just lived a relatively even-keeled life and just died peacefully in their sleep at a ripe old age.  For some, that happens.  But until you find out if that's your path or not, I guess it's best to live each day to the fullest you possibly can.  You have to get up each morning and love your life - the gift you have been given.  Otherwise, you end up with a lifetime of memories of staring at the walls of the jail cell you put yourself in.  And be thankful.  For everything you have.  Your family, your friends, food, water, shelter.  Your underwear.  Whatever.  Whatever you have, no matter how little it may be, is something to be thankful for.  Whatever you have is something that millions of people don't.


 "I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a whole lifetime of nothin' special." - There is a Steel Magnolias quote for every situation, I swear.

Sam and his pee.

Sam was in the bathroom and announced that he was done peeing. Then he came into the room with a plastic sack. Max said "he's done peeing? He peed in the sack?" I said "nooo, in the bathroom." It says a lot, though, that I then had to check the sack, just to be sure. Yep, the bathroom.

Maximillian the Bravest Knight in the Whole Wide World

I started something huge tonight. Max asked me to tell him a story, so I invented Maximillian, the Brave Knight. Max quickly changed it to Maximillian, the Bravest Knight in the Whole Wide World, and the story was off. MtBKitWWW has decided that he wants various things that living in the middle ages don't provide. French fries, for one. Soda, things like that. So he invents a time-traveling machine to take him to different eras to obtain these important items. He has the ability to make a time machine out of anything he'll fit into, but sometimes he pops into places in time he didn't want to go to. His first attempt landed him in the bedroom of a boy named Max whose mom ("blasted woman!" as MtBKitWWW called her, with much irritation from Mom) did not respond to his demands for french fries.

Lots of fun will be had with this one, I think. Even Simon got into it, acting out the scene, and telling another version when I had finished. Having boys is pretty neat. :)

Christmas Cards 2010

Needless to say, family photos when you have 6 kids under the age of 10 are nothing less than a major challenge. We had ours taken in October with the hope of getting "just one, pleeease, just one!" good one of everyone. No such luck. We were lucky to get a few with everyone sitting down in the same general area.

In steps my hero, Shutterfly. Year after year I have ordered our holiday cards from their online site, and this year will be no exception. They have so many different layouts (for moms like me who have to slice and dice photos to get good ones of everyone, or those lucky moms who have so many amazing shots, they can't pick just one), and the styles and graphics are just beautiful. And it's so easy to upload photos to their site to just 'drop' into the design. We get so many compliments on our cards! One year I didn't send one - I just ran out of time. I can't believe the number of people who told me they were disappointed!

This is what I'm choosing from this year: http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-photo-cards I need one with 6-7 individual photos, for separate photos of each child, and then hopefully room for the one of Oliver and me. Or maybe I'll use one of all of the kids, perfect or not. Or maybe the one where Gus is sitting with his back to the camera, but everyone else looks great (thanks a lot, Gus).

I have also ordered photo books from Shutterfly. They're so great to look through, and the kids love seeing themselves in print. The quality is outstanding, and the shipping is fast. Love it! It's my goal to make one of every year since we got married. Maybe after the house starts cleaning itself. :)

So, be on the lookout for this year's masterpiece! I am compiling it little by little, day by day. Hope to have it out by New Years! ;)

Some New News

I can't believe it's almost Thanksgiving again. Where does the time go?

Noteworthy News:

Emma just turned 10 on November 19th! She received her own hairdryer in a fetching pink paisley design, a matching straightening iron, a makeup case and some (mild) makeup to call her own. She was really hoping for a camera, but that will have to happen for Christmas, as I have yet to find a good one at a good price. Suggestions welcome!

Simon turned 9 on October 18th, and all he wanted was a football and some flag football gear. He got just that and had a fabulous time playing with 7 of his closest friends.

Elliot turned 1 on October 20th, and got... a ball. What a difference between what Emma got for her 1st birthday, as the oldest, and what he got. :) Poor guy!! He didn't even get a party. That's okay, I don't think he noticed. I took his picture on his birthday, so I'm doing okay.

Gus turned 4 on November 16th (we did not plan all of these birthdays to be so close together!!) and got some new Thomas the Train toys, which he lives and breathes for. From Grandma and Grandpa he even got a big pop-up Thomas tent, which he slept in last night. Sam is showing signs of being a huge Thomas fan, too, so hopefully this investment will pay off with him and Elliot as well. :)

The kids are absolutely loving being back at public school, and I must admit that it's nice for me to have some breathing room. I never understood those moms who wanted to be away from their kids until everyone started needing me all the time. :) But seriously, it's great for them to be with their friends and Emma and Simon have both been identified as 'gifted' (they do that testing in 2nd grade), so they are in classes that are more challenging for them, which is great. Max is loving kindergarten and his teacher, and making lots of his own friends, which is fantastic, because he really doesn't have any in our neighborhood, so he tags around with Simon. Gus is in preschool, and Sam goes to the same school on the same days (T,Th mornings) to a program for toddlers/pre-preschool and he LOVES it. I never saw a kid more excited to be around other kids his age, and he cannot get enough of his teachers, who adore him. Elliot gets alone time with me on these days, and it's good for us to have in-depth chats while running errands and whatnot.

Today we are getting an assessment of our energy usage. A guy from our energy company is coming out to go through the house. That's the highlight of my day! Tomorrow is grocery shopping for the week and Thanksgiving, which we're spending with Matt & Jen + kids at my parents' house. So thankful for family and the ability to be together and ... the food!!

Simon and Woodrow Wilson

This evening, Simon was telling Oliver what he learned today about President Wilson.

Simon: He was a professor and then president at a college, and then Governor, and then President of the United States.

Oliver: That's right, and what did he teach? If I recall correctly, it was Political Science.

Simon: Yep, it was. And he got really sick while he was President.

Oliver: Oh yeah? Did he die while in office?

Simon: No, he was in bed.

A quiet moment

The days really fly by, and the few times I have to sit down and actually think about something don't come around that often. I get nostalgic when I look through old photos and I think "wow, Max was so little" or "aww, I remember when Emma did that" and can barely remember that time period. Sometimes I wish I could just slow it all down and file away more memories. Today I was holding Elliot and thinking how big he is already. I squeezed him and smelled him, and instantly remembered my other babies and their smells, and realized 'this is why we have so many kids'!! :) No more for us, though - we took care of that in December!

Today we spent the majority of the morning cleaning/organizing and vacuuming. Emma and Simon worked over his room while I did some of the same on the main floor. So many days I just fly through things and put this or that aside for another time to take care of it. I guess sometimes you have to actually take some time to do that. After lunch, we buckled down and went through some school work (including writing letters to Grandma, Grandpa, and Bert as practice for the proper way to do so), and now I'm preparing dinner and trying to keep things picked up!

I love the accomplishment of days like this - getting so much done is cathartic - but now I'm thinking about all the other stuff I really should be doing, like transferring information from calendars (I have 7 years of calendars set aside) to baby books, and more importantly, writing entries in the kids' memory books, which I haven't done in way too many months. I feel like I'm on a speeding train with my head hanging out the window!